My Horcrux Diary

guest blog post by Dr. Nic Hooper

Have you read the quote below by T.E. Lawrence?

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.”  

I’m a dreamer. Always have been. Ever since I could remember, I wanted to do remarkable things that would make the world a better place. Over the years, I’ve had lots of ideas for how to do this but often I would ‘wake up in the day to find it was vanity’. In other words, the ideas remained just that; ideas. On a recent project, I became a ‘dreamer of the day’.

I research an approach to human suffering named Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The pitch of ACT goes something like this: if we can be willing to experience all of our thoughts and feelings, both positive and negative, whilst continuing to move in valued directions, then we will do a decent job at this game of life. One night, after delivering an ACT intervention to teachers, I had this thought: “It is really easy to forget our values; I need to create something that will remind people of what is important to them.” In the following weeks I came up with the idea of an annual diary. For the most part, this diary would be like any other diary i.e. it would have days and dates and spaces to record meetings. However, it would also provide an opportunity for the user to record what is important to them at the beginning of each week.

Ok, so there was the idea. Now I had to do something with it. The first step was easy; I loaded Microsoft Word and spent hours and hours and hours (with my co-author Dr. Freddy Jackson Brown) shaping the words and lines that would make up the inside of the diary. The second step was more difficult. I had to figure out how to take that file and turn it into a product. First question: a publisher or a printing house? No publisher was interested so we went with a printing house. Then, more questions. What sort of spine to go for? How thick should the paper be? How many copies should we buy? How should we sell it? What are the best postage and packaging options? How should we advertise it? How should we accept payment for it? How do we pay tax? Who is going to post them? How should we grow the product over time?

During the first and second steps I faced a fair bit of discomfort (i.e. seemingly powerful negative thoughts often crossed my mind: “this is a waste of time”, “nobody will like it” or “you should be spending this time with Max”). However, the third step of making my idea a reality brought the most discomfort: once I had the completed product, I sent it out there into the scary world. And given that success or failure has implications for how I feel about myself, my diary is a bit like a Horcrux in the Harry Potter story. In that story, the bad guy (Voldemort) poured his soul into a number of items and placed them out there in the world. Those items were called ‘Horcruxes’. His thinking was that this strategy would make him more difficult to kill.

Like Voldemort, I poured my soul into this Horcrux. And like Voldemort, any attack on the Horcrux feels like it kills a part of my soul (‘attack’ is an extreme word that is possibly misplaced here. By ‘attack’, what I mean is any evidence I see that the diary is not worthy, whether it be a lack of sales, little interest on social media or negative feedback). My Horcrux diary is now out there in the world fending not just for itself but, in some ways, for me also. A bit of my soul is unprotected; it can be scrutinized, criticized or ignored. It can fail. And if it fails then it will hurt like hell.

The feeling of vulnerability that comes with trying to do something remarkable is tiring, and it often makes me question whether it would have been better to stay a ‘dreamer of the night’. If my Horcrux is inside my mind then nobody can see it; nobody can hurt me. However, every time I think about this I come to the same conclusion. Although being a ‘dreamer of the night’ comes with built-in safety, if I didn’t do something with my dreams then I’d be living a life out of step with my value of making the world a better place, and consequently, I’d feel empty.

Why am I telling you all this? For two reasons. Firstly, I want you to see how ACT is in my blood. Just in this blog you will spot how I used important ACT processes (willingness, defusion, self-as-context, values). Secondly, and more importantly, I want you to see that having ACT in my blood helped me to chase my dreams, and that it can help you to do the same. Chasing dreams will bring vulnerability but if you know what to do with vulnerability then you will be free.

Interested in checking out Dr. Hooper’s Annual Diary for Valued Action? Check it out here.

CSAM IS HERE TO HELP

If you or someone you love might benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) for anxiety, stress, PTSD, insomnia, or chronic illness, or if you would like more information about our therapy services, please contact us at (858) 354-4077 or at info@csamsandiego.com

How Do I Know What Kind of Therapist to Choose?

by Annabelle Parr

Choosing a therapist can be overwhelming. If you search Google or Psychology Today, you will likely find a long list of different therapists including licensed marriage and family therapists, licensed professional clinical counselors, licensed clinical social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists. How do you know what kind of therapist will be the best for you? And what is the difference between all those different licenses?

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT):

An LMFT holds a Master’s degree in counseling, which typically involves between two and three years of school. LMFTs are trained to view individuals from a family systems perspective, meaning that they learn to see individuals in the context of their relationships. Relationships include family, friends, significant others, and even your relationship to yourself. Despite what their license seems to imply, LMFTs also work with individual clients; they do not exclusively offer marriage and family therapy. Their license speaks to the lens through which they view clients and the various presenting problems they may bring into therapy. LMFT’s must complete at least 3,000 hours of supervised experience before becoming licensed, and this experience must include working with children, families, and/or couples.

An Associate Marriage and Family Therapist has completed their Master’s but is still working on their 3,000 hours of supervised experience.

Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors (LPCC):

An LPCC also holds a Master’s degree in counseling. Many Master’s programs qualify students to sit for both the LMFT and LPCC licensing exams. However, LPCCs tend to work more generally, with a focus on mental health issues as opposed to relational issues, and tend to focus on the individual rather than the individual in the context of their relationships. LPCCs also must complete 3,000 hours of supervised experience prior to licensure, and a portion of their experience must be in either a hospital or community based mental health setting.

An Associate Professional Clinical Counselor has completed the Master’s degree requirements but is still working toward the 3,000 hours of supervised experience.

Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW):

An LCSW holds a Master’s degree in social work. Their training teaches them to help connect clients with resources, both externally (like community resources, support groups, etc.) and internally (like coping skills). An LCSW must complete 3,200 hours of supervised experience in order to get licensed, and they must be supervised specifically by another LCSW for a portion of their hours. They may also provide individual, family, or couples therapy, but the lens through which they have been trained focuses on ensuring clients have access to all the resources they need to thrive.

An Associate Clinical Social Worker has completed the Master’s degree requirements but is still working toward the 3,200 hours of supervised experience.

Psychologists:

A licensed psychologist holds a doctorate degree, either a Ph.D. (doctor of philosophy in psychology, focused on both research and clinical work) or a Psy.D. (doctor of psychology, more clinically focused than research focused), which can take between four and seven years to complete. Licensed psychologists also require 3,000 hours of supervised clinical experience for licensure. Psychologists typically have more training in psychometric assessment and test administration than an LMFT, LPCC, or LCSW. A psychologist with a Ph.D. is prepared to practice clinical work, conduct research, and/or teach, whereas a Psy.D. is typically primarily focused on clinical work.

Registered Psychological Assistant or Postdoctoral Fellow: A registered psych assistant is still working toward the doctoral degree and receiving supervised clinical experience. A postdoc has already completed the doctorate, but is completing the supervised clinical experience hours toward licensure.

Psychiatrists:

A psychiatrist holds a medical degree, and has completed a period of residency, and fellowship. Psychiatrists are medical doctors and are able to prescribe medications. A psychologist, LMFT, LPCC, and LCSW are not able to prescribe medication. Psychiatrists are also able to provide psychotherapy services, but their training is more medically focused.

What’s the takeaway?

Ultimately, there can be a lot of overlap in the services provided by the above practitioners. They are all qualified to assess, diagnose, and treat the full range of mental and emotional disorders found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). The specific license under which a therapist operates speaks to the lens through which they have been educated, and the duration of education.

However, the provider’s area of expertise and scope of practice tends to depend upon the clinical experience that they have gained. So when looking for a therapist, it can help to understand what their license means, but it is perhaps more important to understand the specific supervised and licensed experience that the therapist has. Do they have experience working with anxiety, panic, trauma/PTSD, depression, identity issues, couple’s therapy, child therapy, family therapy? What modalities are they trained in? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, EMDR, Emotion Focused Therapy, Somatic Therapy? Do their areas of expertise and treatment modalities align with your needs and goals?

Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship is the most important factor in whether therapy is successful. So it’s key that the therapist you choose feels like the right fit for you personally. But it can be hard to try to figure out who might be a good match based on credentials and website information alone. A good place to start in narrowing your search is looking at the therapist’s areas of expertise and preferred treatment modalities. Once you have found someone whose specialties line up with your goals, you can reach out to the provider and ask any questions that may not have been addressed on the practice website. (If they won’t take the time to respond to your questions, they might not be the best fit!) If you feel comfortable with the therapist during the initial contact, you can schedule your first session. You will want to meet with the therapist 2-3 times to evaluate how safe and comfortable you feel working with this person. Choosing a therapist is a process, and it can feel overwhelming at first. But once you know how to narrow your search and find a provider that feels like a good fit, it can be incredibly rewarding.

Anxiety in Children

Have you noticed that your child seems to be experiencing a significant amount of anxiety? Learn more about the anxiety disorders that can develop at a young age and the support that is available. If you would like to seek the help of a professional, contact us to schedule an appointment with our child anxiety specialist now.

Childhood Anxiety Disorders

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Learn more about GAD.

Things to look out for:

·      Excessive worry about a variety of things in your child’s life

·      Perfectionism and self-criticism

·      Constant need for approval or reassurance

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Learn more about OCD.

Things to look out for:

·      Obsessions: Experiencing unwanted and intrusive thoughts

·      Compulsions: Repeatedly perform rituals and/or routines in order to ward off anxious feelings

Panic Disorder

Learn more about panic disorder and panic attacks.

Things to look out for:

·      Panic/anxiety attacks that come on for no reason or out of the blue

·      If your child is concerned about or afraid of having another panic attack in the future

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Learn more about PTSD.

Things to look out for:

·      Experiencing or witnessing a traumatic or life-threatening event

·      Intense fear/anxiety

·      Emotional numbness

·      Easily irritable

·      Avoidance of places, people or activities

Separation Anxiety Disorder

Learn more about separation anxiety disorder here.

Things to look out for:

·      Your child is slightly older (common in ages seven to nine)

·      Unable to be separated from loved ones or takes significantly longer to calm down compared to other children

·      Experiences extreme homesickness/misery at being separated from loved ones

Social Anxiety Disorder

Learn more about social anxiety disorder.

Things to look out for:

·      Intense fear or anxiety related to social interactions

·      Anxiety about performance and activities

·      Extreme shyness or inhibition

·      Difficulty making new friends or speaking with peers

Selective Mutism

Visit online: Selective Mutism Group

Things to look out for:

·      Refusing to speak in situations that make your child anxious

·      Standing motionless/expressionless

·      Avoiding eye contact, chewing/twirling hair, turning heads

Specific Phobias

Learn more about phobias.

Things to look out for:

·      Intense irrational fear of a specific object or situation (such as animals, storms, blood, needles, medical procedures, etc.)

Treatments Offered at CSAM

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an empirically supported treatment that focuses on modifying problematic thoughts & behaviors that contribute to & maintain emotional problems like anxiety, stress, & depression. Like traditional forms of therapy, CBT emphasizes a warm, safe, & empathic therapeutic environment. CBT is different from some approaches in that it focuses on present-day problems & learning skills to overcome symptoms. It teaches children to identify thoughts & behaviors that are keeping your child stuck, so your child may develop more adaptive ways for navigating life.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and commitment therapy is an empirically supported treatment that focuses on reducing experiential avoidance and accepting internal experiences (thoughts and feelings) in the service of living a valued, vital, meaningful existence.  Mindfulness, metaphors, and experiential exercises play a central role in ACT.

Biofeedback

Biofeedback is an empirically supported treatment that focuses on balancing the nervous system. Biofeedback is shown to be extremely effective at helping patients reduce anxiety and stress, lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain (including migraines), increase focus and attention, and reduce hyper-vigilance commonly experienced after trauma.

How Can I Respond to My Child?

ADAA provides the following suggestions in their article “Tips for Parents and Caregivers”

Source: http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/tips-parents-and-caregivers

Here are things you can do at home to help your child manage his or her anxiety disorder:

Pay attention to your child’s feelings.

Stay calm when your child becomes anxious about a situation or event.

Recognize and praise small accomplishments.

Don’t punish mistakes or lack of progress.

Be flexible and try to maintain a normal routine.

Modify expectations during stressful periods.

Plan for transitions (For example, allow extra time in the morning if getting to school is difficult).

Keep in mind that your child’s anxiety disorder diagnosis is not a sign of poor parenting. It may add stress to family life, however. It is helpful to build a support network of relatives and friends

Resources:

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA

www.ADAA.org

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Are you interested in scheduling an appointment with our child specialist? If you'd like to speak with a professional at the Center for Stress and Anxiety Management for help with anxiety, please click here.

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Setting Intentions for the New Year & Using ACT to Guide the Way

Written by Lauren Helm, M.A.

Setting Intentions for the New Year & Using ACT to Guide the Way

Image source: hardquotes.com

As you set out into the new year, you may have already identified and begun practicing taking steps towards your New Year’s resolutions. The road towards various forms of transformation or self-betterment can often be long and arduous, and you may face challenging moments as well as rewarding ones. In order to set yourself up for success, consider learning about and applying some of these tips based on an interpretation of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principles. Hopefully, this will help you to continue to evolve in the direction of your choosing this year!

Set intentions that are rooted in your values

Make sure to give yourself enough time to adequately reflect on what is truly important to you. Too often, we may choose to “better” ourselves in ways that may be important to others, but not ourselves. This is a great time to discover your authentic, deeply held desires for yourself, if you have not already done so. What we value speaks to who we want to be in this life, and what gives our lives the greatest sense of richness and meaning. Our values can range various domains, including health, family, friendships, career, spirituality, etc. Clarify for yourself WHY you have selected a certain New Year’s resolution, and determine if it is truly aligned with your authentic values. When we set an intention to fulfill a values-driven goal, we are more likely to be intrinsically motivated to achieve it than if the goal we have set is solely reliant upon the approval of others (or any other reason we think that we “should” be doing something).

Create a SMART values-guided plan of action

Once you’ve selected your New Year’s resolutions or intentions, set yourself up for success by creating an action plan. Dr. Russ Harris created a worksheet that is geared towards helping individuals create a specific plan that is based in their values. You can find the SMART goal worksheet here. SMART stands for specific, meaningful, adaptive, realistic, and time-bound. In other words, you may select a New Year’s resolution that is specific (define exactly what it is that you hope to achieve, and the specific steps that you believe may need to be carried out in order to get there), meaningful (make sure that the resolution is based on something you genuinely care about), adaptive (is setting this goal truly supportive for you and will it improve your life?), and time-bound (be specific and identify the times and dates that you plan to complete certain steps that move you closer to your goal). These are guidelines (not rules) that may support you in successfully working towards your resolutions throughout the year.

Make contact with the present moment

Practice mindfulness of both pleasant and unpleasant aspects of what you are working towards (the FULL experience of the moment), instead of struggling or resisting the discomfort that you may encounter (say, if you were working towards living healthfully by exercising, you may practice mindfulness of the sensations experienced during exercise). Our experience of working towards our desired goal may be dramatically shifted by whether we adopt a mindful, open attitude, or a judgmental, resistant attitude. Excessively trying to “omit” the uncomfortable aspects of your journey will be unlikely to work, can waste your time and energy, and possibly sour your chances to stretch yourself or rise beyond what you may have previously believed you could not do.

Check in with yourself as the year progresses. Adopt a nonjudgmental, objective viewpoint as you observe whether your current actions are in alignment with your original resolutions or intentions. Allow this information to inform any modifications that may be made to the SMART plan that you created. Have you learned that certain strategies help you keep on track, and others don’t? Does just the action-plan need to be revised, or have your priorities shifted over time, and thus your original intentions need to be re-committed to or revised?

Be flexible

We are ever-evolving human beings in an ever-changing world. We cannot always predict or control what will happen in the future. Even if you have created a plan using the SMART guidelines, planning for your future can either work for you or against you, depending on how you relate to your plan. When we hold too tightly or rigidly to an idea of how “things are supposed to go,” the plan begins to unravel us, instead of supporting us. Be honest with yourself when this happens (without judging yourself), and practice flexibility.

Practice acceptance AND commitment

When we feel blocked or unable to achieve the outcome we desire, there may be suffering. Given that unexpected life events may happen that interfere with the plan you have in place to reach your goals, loosening our fixation or attachment to only one way of achieving your values-based resolutions may be helpful. ACT suggests that we can have lives full of meaning, even when we are thrown off course or encounter pain or difficulty. The key is committing to your values, and letting them guide you as you reset your course as needed. Just because you do not achieve a specific outcome (or goal) in a specific way does not mean that you aren’t able to live a valued, meaningful life. We can live in alignment with our values in so many different ways in different situations. Though it can be tough to not obtain a specific outcome that we hoped for, with a flexible, accepting attitude, we can discover another way to embody our values. We may often find that it can be equally as satisfying, even if it doesn’t look like we originally had imagined it.

From the team at CSAM, we hope you have a Happy New Year!

If you'd like to speak with a professional at the Center for Stress and Anxiety Management for help with anxiety, please click here.

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Resources

SMART goal worksheet: http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Goal_Setting_Worksheet.pdf

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change. Guilford Press.